Focus on outcomes leads to anxiety and frustration. It is an apparent truth for many, but it is still challenging for me.
I can’t control how others feel. But! I can try to be as honest and kind as possible to people.
I can’t attract ten customers, but I can write ten articles about the problem I solve and the solution I provide.
I can’t control the outcomes of what I do, but I can focus on the inputs made.
Outcome relates to expectations
I expect that building a great product automatically attracts customers. But it does not. Nothing does guarantee to attract customers, even the best in the world marketing.
When I tell children to behave appropriately and be kind to others, I expect they will do it. But they won’t.
I expect people to enjoy my writings, but they don’t care. I do not have control over the feelings and behaviors of others. And, frankly, I should not.
I expect that I will receive X, Y, Z in results when I do A, B, C. But it does not work in a random and unpredictable world.
The only thing I can (probably) control is my actions, my inputs.
I can’t force people to enjoy my writings. But I can write consistently, learn from the best of the best, and improve slowly one day. And maybe one day, they will enjoy it. But it does not matter, and I should not optimize for this and expect anything from readers.
Expectations lead to frustration
And when expectations are not realized, what happens? Frustration. Constant frustration leads to anxiety. Or it can be one of the million reasons for anxiety.
Parents are frustrated when their lovely child does not share apple pie with her friends.
They expect the child to be generous and kind, but the child is complex and acts based on her mental models.
The only thing that parents can do is to control their inputs. They can convince the child that sharing is a win-win situation, but it is not guaranteed that they will still listen.
They can show how to do it by sharing their belongings with their friends. But there is also no guarantee that it will work.
The outcome of their educational work is not under their control.
They can only try to educate children as best as possible and then hope for the better. But for health, it is better even do not hope.
Focus on inputs
So, the only thing I can do is consistently remind myself that I can focus only on my inputs and nothing more. I hope you enjoyed my writing and have a nice day 👋